


Home Again

by KrisLetang



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Dancing, Declarations Of Love, Depression, F/M, Fix-It, Pining, Post-Episode: s19e13 The Undiscovered Country, Running Away
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-19
Updated: 2020-02-19
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:47:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22796530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KrisLetang/pseuds/KrisLetang
Summary: I wrote this prompt for Anni even though it wasn't mind from the Rafioli crack exchange: After UC, Barba sends Noah a postcard from FL, so Noah steals a metrocard and cash and runs away and gets to FL via subway/train/taxi combo and shows up at Barba’s door in FL while Benson is frantically searching NYC.
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Olivia Benson
Comments: 15
Kudos: 89
Collections: Rafioli Fic Exchange





	Home Again

**Author's Note:**

  * For [adrianna_m_scovill](https://archiveofourown.org/users/adrianna_m_scovill/gifts).



Liv paused when she saw the handwriting. She was sorting through the mail, and the postcard stopped her in her tracks. It had Noah’s name on it. She paused, considering if she should give it to Noah. It wasn’t as if they hadn’t heard a word from Rafael, but it had only been a few phone calls here or there, checking in, and he hadn’t mentioned a word about sending a postcard. He hadn’t even told Liv where exactly he was at. 

She missed him. That cold February day still haunted her, but she knew he was still dealing with a lot. That didn’t make his actions okay, but she tried to make herself understand. It was hard to reconcile her best friend with the man who had broken her heart. She had always thought that even if he decided to move on, no matter how much that would hurt, he would still be in their lives.

She sighed, glancing towards her son who was sitting at the counter doing some homework. She knew he missed his Uncle. He always asked to be able to talk on the phone when Rafael called. “Noah, honey,” she said. “You have mail.” He looked up, his eyes widening with excitement. He reached for the card that she handed to him, looking it over. “Oh, cool!” he exclaimed. “Uncle Rafa went to see the ballet.” 

“That was nice of him to send you a postcard,” Liv said. Noah was smiling as he looked over the card. 

“Mama?” Noah asked. “Why did Uncle Rafa go away?” 

“I think he’s sad, Noah,” Liv said softly. “He needs some time to think about things.”

“Do you think he’ll come back?” Noah asked. Liv sighed. 

“I hope so,” she said, sitting down beside her son. 

“I wish he was here,” Noah whispered. 

“Me too, honey,” Liv said softly. 

“Can we go see him?” Noah asked. 

“I don’t think so,” Liv said, ruffling his hair. Noah frowned. He was quiet for a few moments, seemingly thinking about what his mother had said. 

“Doesn’t he want to see us?” Noah asked. 

“I think he does,” Liv said. “I just don’t know that we should right now.” Noah chewed on his lip. “How about we get some dinner. Go wash your hands.” Noah went to do as she said. 

…………………………………..

Noah was nervous. He’d never done anything like this before, and he felt the stirrings of guilt in his belly, but he needed to do it anyways. He could barely reach, but he strained, swiping his mother’s metrocard and walking through the turnstile. He clutched the straps of his backpack, going through his plan once again in his head. It had taken him a few weeks to figure out what he was going to do and how. 

He had talked Lucy into letting him use the laptop one night, looking up train tickets under the guise of playing video games. Lucy was easier to trick than his Mom. He was surprised that he’d been able to swipe his mother’s credit card even briefly, but somehow, he managed, and now, here he was, on the subway, riding to Penn Station. He had a backpack full of money, his emergency phone, and the post card from his Uncle, and he was determined to make it to Florida. He knew he didn’t have much time before his Mom would know he was gone, but he was hoping it was enough time to get on the train and out of New York. 

There were a lot of people on the subway, a lot of tall adults, and he tried to be invisible. He didn’t want anyone asking him questions. He picked a younger woman to sit next to when a passenger moved because he knew that sometimes, people thought Lucy was his mom when they were together. Noah felt guilty. He knew his Mom was going to worry herself sick, but he was doing this for her. For both of them, but especially for her. 

Penn Station was crowded, and Noah felt a flair of panic when he looked around trying to figure out where he was going. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath before fishing out the paper where he’d written down all the details of the trains he was taking. He couldn’t stop and ask for help. That would attract too much attention to himself. He chewed his lip, glancing up at the signs. “Are you lost kid?” Noah looked up at the man who was talking to him. He looked younger. 

“My Mom is waiting for me by the train. I got lost going to the bathroom,” Noah said, hoping it sounded convincing. 

“Can I see your ticket?” the man asked. Noah dug it out of his pocket, and the man spent a minute looking at it. “Here, I’ll show you where you’re headed.” 

“Thank you,” Noah said, taking the ticket back and following the man. The man paused when they made it to the waiting area, and Noah searched the crowd. 

“Where’s your mom, kid?” the man asked. Noah spotted a young woman alone, on her phone, but she looked old enough to be believable. He pointed at her. 

“She’s there,” Noah said. “Thanks.” 

“Sure, kid, stay safe,” the man said, patting Noah’s back. Noah took a deep breath, walking towards the woman. When he peeked over his shoulder, the man was still there, waiting and watching. He sat down beside the woman, and she glanced at him and smiled. 

“Hi,” he said, trying to sell it. She looked at him again before turning back to her phone. When Noah looked back, the man was gone. He let out a breath of relief. Noah sat there, looking around, waiting for the train to board. It was supposed to start in ten minutes. He was nervous that he was going to be caught. He knew they would notice he’d snuck out of the school sooner rather than later, and then the whole New York Police Department would be on his trail. 

He didn’t feel safe until he was sitting on the train in a seat, looking out the window. 

………………………………….

“Ticket please,” the man said, and Noah looked up at him. He held out his ticket, and the conductor took it, eyeing Noah up suspiciously. “Is she your mom?” the man asked, glancing at the woman beside Noah who had earbuds in. Noah nodded. The man narrowed his eyes for a moment, but he didn’t say anything else, walking away, and Noah let out a breath that he hadn’t realized he was holding. 

He knew there was a chance that he would be caught, but he was doing his best to stay out of trouble. If he could just make it to Florida, everything would be okay again. He knew going alone was dangerous, so he was doing his best to keep an eye out for trouble. He did with that he was with his mom, but she never would have let him do this. He had no choice but to go alone. 

It was going to be a long train ride, and he hoped that his Mom didn’t notice that he had used her credit card to buy his train ticket. He was counting on it actually because then his plans would be ruined. He opened his backpack, pulling out the postcard that Rafael had sent. He missed his Uncle a lot. He remembered when he would come over all the time and have dinner with them. He remembered the way his mom would smile when Rafael was there. He just hoped that this would go over the way he wanted. 

…………………………………

Liv had been in her office when she got the call. Now, she was in Fin’s car, trying to stay calm as they raced toward the school. Her son was gone. No one had any idea how or why, but he hadn’t come back from lunch, and she couldn’t get ahold of him. His backpack was gone, and he wasn’t answering the phone she’d given him for emergencies. 

She had TARU tracking Noah’s phone, and she could only hope that she would have answers soon. He’d been gone for at least an hour and time was ticking. She’d been through this before, and that had been too much to bear, but somehow, they had managed to bring him home. It was terrifying to think that she might lose him for good this time. Liv tried to take a deep breath. She tried to ground herself and think. 

Was Noah upset? Could he have left on his own? She wanted to think that was the answer because the alternative was much more terrifying. She couldn’t lose her son; he was keeping her sane. Everyone else fell in and out of her life; even the most steady, sure pillars in her life left eventually, but she always had Noah. She had him to come home to and to love. He was the little boy who had changed her life and saved her from herself. 

“Liv,” Fin’s voice was soft, and she looked over at him, trying not to cry. “They have security video. We’ll figure this out.” 

“Fin, I can’t lose him,” she said softly.

“We’ll find him,” Fin said seriously, and Liv nodded, only hoping that he was right.

………………………………..

Rafael was sitting on his couch, moping. He had been moping for what felt like forever. He barely had a job, didn’t go out of the house much other than for work, and he didn’t have any friends. People knew his face. He couldn’t escape his past. People gave him odd looks when he walked down the street or went out to eat. He’d taken to hiding behind a baseball cap and sunglasses when he did choose to go out. 

He had gone to the ballet on a whim, missing Noah and wanting to send the young boy something to support his new love of dance. Rafael couldn’t help but smile that Noah found something he loved, and that he had a supportive mother who allowed him to explore that interest. His father would’ve laughed at him if he said he wanted to dance. 

He flipped the channel, trying not to keep feeling so sorry for himself. He jumped when the doorbell rang, feeling nervous. He hoped it wasn’t someone coming to give him a hard time again. Sometimes, people vandalized his door. Seeing “baby killer” written across his door in paint was a painful reminder of the reason that he didn’t sleep at night anymore. 

He pulled at his Harvard shirt as he stood, walking slowly towards the door. He looked through the peep hole, but he didn’t see anyone there. Frowning, he opened the door, and his immediate feeling was one of joy followed swiftly by confusion. “Noah,” he said. “What’s going on buddy? Where’s your mom?” 

“Can I come in, Uncle Rafa? I’m hungry,” Noah said. Rafael didn’t really know what to say. He was at a loss. He let Noah in, finding something suitable for a child to eat in his fridge and pouring himself a glass of scotch. He needed to know what the hell was going on, but first, he needed to call. She was clearly not there with her son, and Rafael had a feeling she didn’t know that Noah was in Florida. He pulled his phone out, dialing Liv’s number. 

The phone rang for a few moments before she finally answered. “Listen, Rafa, I don’t really have time to talk right now.” He could hear how upset she was from the sound of her voice. 

“Liv, Noah is here,” he said. 

“What?” she asked. “I-I don’t think I heard you right.” 

“Noah is here, with me,” Rafael said again. “He showed up at my door ten minutes ago.” 

“Oh my God,” Liv said. “Oh my God. Is he okay?” 

“He’s fine. He’s eating something. I’m going to talk to him when I hang up. I’ll get us both plane tickets and fly him up to you,” Rafael said softly. 

“Thank you, Rafael. Can I talk to him?” Liv asked. 

“Yeah, let me give him the phone,” Rafael replied, heading back out to the kitchen. Rafael poured himself another glass of scotch while Noah spoke to his mother on the phone. He looked a little sheepish, assuring Liv that he was alright before he finally handed the phone back. “So, papito, what brings you down to Florida?” 

Noah looked at him with serious blue eyes and Rafael was struck by how much Noah had grown since he’d seen him last. It hurt his heart to realize that. He knew that he was the one who had made that decision. Noah looked down at the table, seemingly gathering his resolve. “I wanna see Mom smile again.” Rafael frowned, stepping closer to Noah. He took a seat next to the boy. 

“I’m not sure I follow,” Rafael said softly. Noah took a deep breath.

“She doesn’t smile the same way anymore. Not since you left, Uncle Rafa. I was mad at first. I don’t like it when she cries,” Noah said, and it felt like Rafael couldn’t breathe for a second. He wouldn’t allow himself to rationalize it. He knew his leaving would hurt her, and even if that wasn’t his intent, he had no excuse. 

Rafael didn’t know how to respond. He didn’t know how to make this better. He felt panic rising in his chest, and he needed to get a grip on himself. He was an asshole, and he needed to face that; he needed to face his actions. “Noah, I’m sorry,” he said softly. “I didn’t mean….I didn’t mean to hurt you or your mom. You know I love you both.” 

“Come back then?” Noah asked softly. “She’d like that. I know she would.” 

“It’s not that simple, papito,” Rafael whispered. Noah looked at him, sighed, and he looked away again, and Rafael’s heart ached, but he didn’t know what else to say. 

……………………………….

Rafael was holding onto Noah’s hand. There hadn’t been plane tickets available until the next day to New York, and Liv had agreed that it might be fun if Rafael took Noah around Miami while he was there. They had gone out for lunch to a restaurant that Noah picked. Liv had sent him a laughing face emoji when he told her Noah picked Italian so he could have spaghetti. Noah was quiet though, more quiet than Rafael was comfortable with, and he wanted to say something to make it better, but he didn’t know what to do. 

They were walking down the street now toward the part of their little sightseeing adventure that Rafael knew Noah would love the most. Noah had complained a little when Rafael bought him something nice to wear, but once he knew why, Rafael was sure he wouldn’t be complaining. Rafael was wearing a suit without a tie, and he’d managed to get Noah into a shirt with a sweater over top of it and some khakis. “Uncle Rafa, I’m tired,” Noah whined.

“You’ll like this, I promise,” Rafael said. Noah sighed, but he quieted down. Rafael dug in his pocket for his tickets as they approached the line.

“What’s this place?” Noah asked.

“We’re going to watch something,” Rafael told him. Noah frowned, brows knitting together.

“Like a movie?” Noah asked. “It’s a movie theater?” 

“Not quite,” Rafael said. He handed Noah his ticket, and the little boy’s eyes lit up as he looked at it. 

“We’re going to see the ballet?” Noah asked excitedly.

“I thought you would like that,” Rafael said. “Now, let’s go inside, and we’ll get settled.” Noah was bouncing with excitement as they went in, and Rafael felt good about himself for the first time in a really long time. Noah’s eyes were huge during the show, and Rafael let himself revel in the young boy’s joy because it was the only source of joy he had at the moment. 

He wasn’t sure how he was possibly going to face Liv, especially not after what Noah had told him. He was awful for walking out on them the way he did, and now that he was faced with the hurt he caused two of the people he loved the most, the self loathing he’d been trying to stave off was only increasing. 

Noah was happy after that, smiling as Rafael took him out for ice cream and then back to the apartment. Rafael gave him privacy to FaceTime his mom, and he used that time to figure out sleeping arrangements. Noah could have his bed. It would be more comfortable. He changed the sheets, getting things together so he could sleep out on the couch. 

Noah was cooperative as he got ready for bed, and Rafael had him under the covers at a decent time. He looked tired. Rafael was at the door. “Just come get me if you need anything,” he said. “I’ll be in the living room.” 

Noah yawned. “Mom misses you. She says goodnight,” he mumbled before turning over and shutting his eyes.  _ I miss her too _ . Rafael’s heart ached. 

……………………….

Rafael hated flying; he always had. There was something about the elevation changes that made his migraines flare, and security made him cranky and annoyed. Noah was quiet and behaving himself which Rafael was grateful for, but he was still dreading the flight.

His stomach was clenching uncomfortably when he thought about facing Olivia again. He hoped that she didn’t hate him even though she knew he had every right to slap him across the face and never speak to him again. He hated that he was the one that was causing her more pain. He could only imagine her panic at realizing Noah was gone. He’d been there and seen the number that Sheila Porter had done on her mental state.

He remembered standing outside her door, listening as he told her about her fears. He had been so grateful to be there with her, with Noah and the squad; they were his second family and he loved them all so much. Then everything had gone to shit so spectacularly. He had ruined everything, but he didn’t regret his actions. He felt guilty for them, and he knew that he was wrong, but he couldn’t regret saving that baby from pain. He couldn’t regret saving his parents from the torture of litigation and waiting for an answer from the courts. He regretted the pain he’d caused those that he loved, and he struggled with his own guilt every minute of every day, but he had always been willing to shoulder pain to save others. 

The worst part of all of it was his need to run. He couldn’t be in New York any longer. He couldn’t look Olivia in the eyes after what he’d done. He couldn’t continue to drag her down his path of self destruction, so he’d panicked and he’d left, and now he had no idea how to fix what he’d broken. 

“Uncle Rafa?” Noah asked softly, and Rafael looked at him. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, buddy,” Rafael said. “I’m not mad. Just promise me next time you’ll ask your Mom before you travel across state lines.” Noah laughed a little bit. “I’m sorry you miss me. We can FaceTime or you can call me whenever you want to talk. I miss you too.” Noah nodded, looking out the window, and Rafael wished he could promise Noah more, but how could he? He wasn’t going to make promises that he couldn’t keep. 

“Uncle Rafa,” Noah whispered. Rafael looked at him. “Why don’t you just say sorry?” 

“It’s not that simple, Noah,” Rafael sighed. “I wish….I wish it was.” Noah bit his lip, quieting down after that. 

Take off was always difficult for Rafael, and he gripped the seat tightly as the plane roared into the sky. His eyes were squeezed shut, but he felt Noah take his hand. When they were safely at altitude, Rafael ordered himself a scotch, and he relaxed into his seat, trying to destress. He’d bought them both first class seats, partially because there wasn’t much left on the plane otherwise, but mostly because he didn’t want to be crowded while he tried to rope in his panic. He swallowed heavily, trying to focus on anything but how high up they were and the prospect of facing the woman he loved again. It was going to be a long flight.

…………………………………….

Rafael’s hands were sweating profusely. They were outside Liv’s door, and he was getting ready to knock. Noah seemed tired, so he took a deep breath and tapped his knuckles against the door. Liv answered within seconds, and he stood there awkwardly as she grabbed her son and squeezed him. “Noah, don’t you ever scare me like that again,” she whispered, stroking her fingers over his curls. 

“Sorry, Mama,” Noah said softly. Liv held him for a few long moments, and Rafael was quiet, trying to give them space. He was so glad that things had turned out okay because Noah’s impromptu trip could have ended in so many disastrous ways, but somehow, he’d made it to Rafael’s Miami apartment unscathed, and he would be forever grateful that he wasn’t the cause of more pain for Olivia. She looked up to Rafael then, standing. 

“Hey,” she said. He shoved his hands in his pockets. 

“Hey,” he said softly. “I’m sorry about all this.” Liv raised her lips in a small smile, but he didn’t feel any better about himself. 

“Come in?” Liv asked softly. 

“Okay,” he whispered. He followed them inside, and Liv sent Noah to his room to change his clothes while she figured out what to make for dinner. Rafael was nervous and he didn’t know what to say or what to do. “He missed me,” he said. “This is my fault. Go easy on him.” Liv smiled at him from where she was in the kitchen.

“Rafa,” she said. “I’m just glad he’s okay. I had all of the NYPD after him. I can’t believe he just….he just left school. He and I are going to have a serious conversation, and I need you to stop blaming yourself for that.” 

“There’s a lot more that I should apologize for,” he said.

“It’s water under the bridge, Rafael,” Liv replied. Rafael sighed, looking down at his feet, but he let her stop it there. Dinner was nice. He was able to talk to Liv again even if nothing felt the same anymore. She didn’t look at him the same way, and he didn’t know how to fix that. 

Noah was quiet after that, picking at his food and staring at his plate, and Rafael didn’t miss the fact that Liv wouldn’t take her hand off of Noah’s arm. He had a ticket home for the morning, and he was tempted to get a hotel and mope around until it was time to go to the airport. 

Rafael listened as Noah negotiated his way into Olivia’s bed for the night, and he lingered while she tucked him in. When she came back out, she stood there with her arms crossed over her chest. “Want a drink?” she asked. He could see the bags under her eyes and the exhaustion. 

“Please,” he whispered. She poured herself a glass of wine, and she poured him a scotch. They sat on the couch together quietly, and it almost felt like before when everything was normal, but he didn’t know what to say to her anymore. 

“I thought that he was gone,” Liv said softly. “I was so...losing him terrifies me, Rafa, and I keep...I keep almost losing him.” He saw her fighting with tears and her pain made his vision blur. 

“I’m so sorry, Olivia,” he whispered, scooting closer to her on the couch. Their thighs were touching now, and his heart was beating. He hesitated, unsure how she might react if he wrapped his arm around her shoulders. She made the decision for him, standing and walking toward the window as she swallowed her wine. 

“I’d love to catch up, but I need to go to sleep,” Liv said. “I haven’t slept since he ran away, and I need to hold him. You’re welcome to crash on the couch.” Rafael paused for a moment, but in the end, he didn’t want to drag himself to a hotel, so he nodded. 

“Thanks,” he whispered. Liv got him situated with a pillow and a blanket, and he was trying to find the words to somehow fix this, but he couldn’t. He didn’t think it was fixable. 

…………………………..

Rafael couldn’t stop thinking about Noah’s face--about the sadness in his eyes. He had said goodbye to them both that morning, hugging them before going to the airport. The plane ride back had been nothing short of miserable with the combination of his anxiety and his guilt and pain over his lost relationships. He couldn’t believe how much damage he had managed to do. He knew he should try to be more understanding with himself; there were so many reasons why he reacted the way that he did, but he couldn’t justify any action that hurt those that he loved so much. 

He was in his apartment, wishing that it didn’t hurt so badly. He wanted to move past his self pity, past his yearning for a life that wasn’t his anymore. The truth was that in the back of his mind, he’d always wondered and hoped that he could somehow fix things one he pulled himself together out of his massive downward spiral. He had thought that maybe Liv could forgive him for walking out, but he had blown every good thing he ever had.

Walking out on her that cold February afternoon was the worst mistake he’d ever made, and he had only exacerbated the issue by not calling her afterwards and not working towards repairing things. He should have called. He should have gone home sooner and begged her for forgiveness, but it was too late. Everything was ruined. 

_ “Why don’t you just say sorry?” _

Rafael saw Noah’s blue eyes as he thought about his sweet voice. He wished it was that simple. He wished that sorry would fix everything. He hated knowing that Noah was hurting because of his absence, that Liv was hurting so badly. Thinking about her crying because of him made him feel sick. 

_ “Why don’t you just say sorry?” _

He couldn’t just sit there and let it slip out of his fingers, and something told him that if he didn’t do something immediately, she really would be gone forever. They both would. He shoved himself off the couch, grabbing for his wallet and starting to pack a bag again. 

……………………………

When she opened the door, she looked shocked to see him. “Rafa, what?” she asked. “What are you doing here?” He pulled his courage together, forcing himself through his fear. 

“Liv,” he said, his eyes shining with fear and sadness and sorrow. He knew he was going to start crying. “Olivia, I’m sorry. It’s not water under the damn bridge. I hurt you, and I’m sorry. I never should have….I never should have left you after that trial. You were there for me through the hardest time in my life, and then I left, and I’m sorry.” 

Liv stared at him, and he saw her big brown eyes fill with tears. His vision blurred even more, his nose and throat burning with the tears and emotions. “You were scared,” Liv said softly, stepping towards him. “I know you were scared. I would have been scared too, but I would have helped you, Rafa. It’s what friends are for.” 

“I couldn’t bear for you to see me that low, Liv. I couldn’t,” Rafael said softly. “You don’t….you don’t know how bad it was.” He wanted to tell her about the days that he spent on his couch, unmoving, crying as many tears as his body would produce. He wanted to tell her that he’d lost significant weight in the months following his trial. He wanted her to know that he had been trying to protect her from him, from his mess. 

“You could have let me help,” she whispered. 

“I’m sorry,” he said again, stepping closer to her. “I meant what I said before. You really did change me, Liv, and you really did open up my heart.” Her eyes were shining. 

“And?” she whispered, looking hopeful, and Rafael wasn’t going to disappoint this time.

“And I love you for it,” he whispered. The tears spilled, running down his cheeks. He pressed his face into Olivia’s hair as she pulled him close, and he sobbed, clutching at her. 

“I love you too,” she whispered by his ear, squeezing him tight. 

“I never….I never blamed you for what I did. I need you to know that,” Rafael whispered, his voice tearful. “I don’t want you to blame yourself. It wasn’t your fault. You’ve made me a better man.” He felt Liv shake in his arms, pressing her face against his shoulder, and he squeezed her closer. 

“You can’t leave me again,” Liv whispered to him. “If I let you back, you can’t run away.”

“I know,” he whispered. 

“You hurt Noah, Rafa, and I know you were dealing with a lot, but you can’t hurt him again. It’s not only me.” She had stepped back to look at him seriously. His eyes were full of tears, and so were her own. 

“I want to try again, Liv,” he whispered. “I want to show you I can.” 

“I want that too,” Liv whispered, wiping her eyes. “Do you want to come in?”

“I’d like that,” he whispered. Liv opened the door, letting him follow her inside. “Where’s Noah?” 

“He’s asleep,” Liv said. 

“Something he said to me, it gave me hope,” Rafael whispered. “I was afraid it was too late.” 

“It’s never too late, Rafa,” Liv whispered, stepping into his space. He leaned his forehead down, pressing it to Liv’s, and his eyes fluttered shut. Liv was the one who pressed her lips to his, but he opened his mouth immediately, letting her press her tongue past his lips. He moaned softly, hands resting on her hips, and she brought a hand up to his cheek, brushing her fingers through the hair by his ear. 

“I have to go back to Florida,” he whispered between kisses. 

“I know your things are there,” Liv murmured, leaning in to kiss him again. 

“I have to wrap up my job,” he said. Liv paused. “I won’t be long. It should take a few weeks for me to wrap up my cases.”

“Okay,” she finally said. 

“I’ll come here on weekends. Work on moving all my things back,” he murmured, kissing the area in front of her ear. Her head fell back as she leaned into the touch of his lips. 

“Okay,” she agreed again, walking backwards. He followed her, not wanting to move away from the heat of her body. The taste of her skin against his lips was intoxicating. She smelled the same, she looked more beautiful than ever, and he knew there was no turning back from this point for him, not any more. “Do you want to come back to the bedroom?” her voice was soft, and Rafael felt himself shake. He wanted nothing more, but he wanted to be good for her. 

“Yes,” he whispered. “Please.” Liv smiled at him, kissing him once more before taking his hand and leading him back to her bed. Once they were in the bedroom, she was working on his shirt immediately. He pushed his hands under her shirt, feeling her skin as he walked her back to the bed. Liv kissed him hard, pivoting and pushing him onto the bed so she could climb up on the bed, straddling him and kissing him once more. Liv had him halfway out of his pants when there was a knock on the door, and they both froze. 

“Mommy?” Noah’s voice was soft, and Rafael’s heart was pounding against his sternum. He could barely breathe. Liv put a finger over his lips, smiling at him. 

“One second, baby. Wait for me in the living room,” Liv called. Liv stood, and Rafael sat up, chest still heaving, his skin reddened. “Stay here, I’ll be back for you. I promise,” she murmured, leaving him with one last kiss. Rafael laid back, staring at the ceiling for a few moments, trying to get control of himself. He took a few moments, feeling like a sack of bricks on the bed. He was exhausted from his travels. Finally he pushed himself back up the bed, leaning against the pillows and settling in to wait for Olivia. 

………………………………

Rafael rose to his feet, clapping as he stood beside Liv. He couldn’t help the pride that was swelling in his chest as he looked up at that stage. Noah was grinning, and Rafael had never been so proud in his entire life. He reached for Liv’s hand as the children walked off the stage. “He was so good,” he said. Liv smiled, rubbing his arm. As they went out to find Noah, Rafael pulled away from Liv, pulling his wallet out of his pocket. There was a table where they were selling flowers and he’d be damned if he didn’t buy Noah some. Noah needed to know how proud he was, not only of his performance, but of Noah’s bravery and willingness to be himself no matter what everyone else believed. 

Rafael knew he’d been dealing with some bullying at school, and he felt extremely protective. He was trying to take a hands off approach to parenting though considering he and Liv were still simply dating. They both were serious; they’d talked about when it might be time for more, but Rafael wanted to err on the side of caution with Noah. He didn’t want to push too hard too soon. He thought of Noah as his son though. 

When he returned with the flowers, Liv rolled her eyes, but she was looking at him fondly. “You spoil him,” she said softly. 

“I know,” he whispered. He wouldn’t deny it. 

“You coming home with us tonight?” Liv asked softly. He nodded. He never passed up an opportunity to spend his time in her apartment with his family. He wanted to talk to Liv about moving in, but he knew she wanted to take things slowly with Noah. He spent so much time there anyways, and he yearned to be with them when he wasn’t. 

“Rafa, Mama!” Noah yelled, grabbing Rafael’s attention. He smiled hugely. Noah hugged his mother first, and then Rafael got his hug. 

“You were so great, papito,” Rafael said. “We’re so proud of you.” 

“Can we go get ice cream?” Noah asked, giving them both puppy dog eyes. “Please, please, please?” He looked to Olivia first and then to Rafael who also shot puppy dog eyes in Liv’s direction. She rolled her eyes at them both. 

“Yes, let’s go,” she said, fondly. It was a short walk to the ice cream place, and Rafael couldn’t stop smiling as Noah excitedly picked out his ice cream and toppings. He paid for it, settling down at a table with them both. He was just taking a bite of his own ice cream when Noah looked to his Mom. 

“Can I ask him?” he asked. Rafael raised an eyebrow. Liv smiled, nodding. “Rafa, do you want to come live with us?” Noah asked. Rafael felt like he’d been punched in the gut. All of his words left him. He looked from Noah to Liv who smiled at him, reaching for his hand. 

“We would like it if you might become a more permanent part of our family,” Liv said softly. He cleared his throat, setting his spoon down. 

“Yes,” he said softly. “Yes. I’d like nothing more.” He hugged Liv tight, and Noah joined in. Rafael was so grateful to be there, to be able to hold his family in his arms. He was grateful that Noah had been brave enough to find him and bring him back to where he belonged. 

  
  



End file.
